The Joy of the Knife

07/07/2010

At seven this morning I reported to War Memorial Hospital here in Beautiful Downtown Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, population 711 to be on the receiving end of Dr. Williams’ surgical training.  Somewhere at some time I must have done something or lifted something causing a slight tear in my abdominal wall allowing a portion of my intestines to protrude through said tear.  “We” in the medical industry call this sucker a “hernia,” and mine needed attention.

I remember being in the hospital in 1971 for another procedure.  I was incarcerated there for a couple of days, and I can remember a number of guys on the floor that were there for hernia repair.  They, too, got to spend a couple days in the hospital as they mended.  Not so these days, I arrived at 7am and was on my way home around 11am.  Even with a stop at the local pharmacy for pain meds, I was at home before noon. 

The site of the incision is a little tender, but no real pain.  On a scale of 1 to 10 my assessment of the pain is maybe a 2, perhaps a high 1.  Truthfully, when I attempt to stand it is a little painful, but not too bad.  I can deal with it; afterall, I am a man.  When I fart it really hurts, but the screaming helps to subdue it.  I suppose without the meds I might it might be in a little worse, so I am diligently following the doctor’s instructions and taking them as prescribed.  I took a Percocet and an 800mg Ibuprofen at noon and was amazed at how quickly the pain was reduced to almost nothing at all.  There are, however, some side effects.  The colors throughout the room are so vivid, and I discovered a Unicorn grazing in the field west of the house shortly after the swarm of locusts devoured my garden.  I discovered flying is not that difficult if you flap your arms really quickly, and sleeping is really quite easy.

You know, this surgery things does have its up side?

And that is all I have to say about that…