Talking With God

10/25/2006

If you have kept up with my posts then you know I have had some issues with God.  I have searched for a long time for something to give me a sign that a higher being, in any form, exists.  About halfway through the Millennium workshops I got it, I had a spiritual epiphany.  I came to realize that “God” is the whole of everything and I am a part of God.  I am connected to everything and it of me.

Okay, most of my adult life has been spent denying the existence of a God or anything resembling a higher consciousness or being.  I moved from agnosticism to atheism back to agnosticism, all through the “isms,” but never testing the waters as to whether or not a higher being was really out there.  One of my daughters says she believes because she is afraid not to.  My questions began when I was very young, and then when my mother died I became angry with God (if “it” existed at all?) and just left it alone, at that time my search for God ended.

I am reading a book written by Dr. Gary Schwartz called “The G.O.D. Experiments.” It’s pretty cool.  Basically, the book is about how science proves the existence of a higher power, one that Dr. Schwartz calls a “Guiding, Organizing, Designing” process, aka God.  This book mirrors my own conclusion of my connectivity with all things and my view of a higher being.

This is the neat part: The other night I was lying in my bed allowing my mind to wander.  I began to think “God” and in my mind asking if He/She was listening.  What happened next startled me and rocked my world.  In a voice I didn’t recognize or ever sensed before I clearly heard or sensed the words “I am.” Weird, huh?

I don’t exactly know what this means or what affect it has or will have on my life, but it shook me to my bones.  Did I imagine it?  I don’t know what to think.  All I know is that I heard or sensed this voice letting me know something of a higher power, God, if you wish, is listening to me. 

I would welcome your thoughts and that all I have to say about that…