I Was Going To Tamper With Her...

06/05/2010

The title of this post is actually the punch line to a very old joke about a woman sues a guy for breaking a promise he made to her.  The judge asks her what the promise was, wherein she promptly told the judge the man said he was going to take her to Florida.  The man told the judge what he said was…

The Nancy and I are on Southwest flight 1197 heading for Tampa for a long weekend of fun in the sun.  Actually we are going to attend, though it may be just an excuse to get to Tampa, a niece’s high school graduation.  While there we may have to eat some good victuals, drink some fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them and dress like senior citizens in god-awful plaid shorts and shirts that don’t in anyway match or work together, and white shoes with black knee-socks.  Perhaps we can spend some time hanging around the pool with me in my Speedo and The Nancy in her own age-appropriate poolside attire.  Of course we know in Florida there is no such thing as “age-appropriate” attire.  We may also have to pretend to drive like Florida seniors – no signals, have at least two tires either over the center line or half way off the road on the right side, never check traffic before changing lanes and drive at least 10-15 miles below the posted limit or at light-speed above it.  We are thinking about having a blue tint sprayed on our hair for effect, well, The Nancy is, at least.  Blue spray on mine would look more like a yarmulke, which might make me look even more like a resident of the state.  This is going to be a blast.

All seriousness aside, we plan to eat, drink, be merry and cause a raucous wherever we go.  We will be loud and make fools of one another and seriously disturb the peace.  I plan to hang chads everywhere I go and wear my “Buchanan for President” t-shirt.

On the serious side, we will have a really great time with some people we love.  If we get a little loud it will probably be in the midst of other party goers and heavy drinkers doing much of the same.

And that is all I have to say about that…