Christmas Shopping for Two

12/21/2006

The Nancy and I made an agreement.  The Nancy is not much of a shopper, she does not enjoy it.  Getting her in a store is a chore.  Getting her to actually purchase something is like attempting to put a worm back in an apple.  So, after about a minute of serious conversation on what to do about Christmas, we decided it would work this way.  I would go shopping for gifts from me to The Nancy, and I would shop for gifts for The Nancy to give to me.  Her job is to be surprised about what she got me when I open the boxes.  We did the “high five” gesture of agreement, and it was settled, I would do the shopping.

I got to go Christmas shopping for The Nancy and for myself yesterday.  It didn’t take that long to do the actual purchases, but to really get the most out of a shopping excursion, one has to spend nearly the whole day doing it.  It’s the rule.  I had a ball.  I visited four stores in four cities.  In these parts, West Virginia, that is, a “city” can be contained on a plot of land about the size of a postage stamp.  It can be a couples of houses, a trailer or two, a church, a Walmart, the requisite McDonalds and a bar (which will most likely be a VFW or a Moose Lodge), and, baby, it’s a city.  Anyway, the job is done.  The Nancy will be surprised to find she is giving me exactly what I want.  She, on the other hand, will get exactly what I want.  Life is good…thank you very much.  In the immortal words of George Bush, “Mission Accomplished.”

Now a dilemma arises.  With all the gifts we have to take for our girls and their families, the Jeep Cherokee is going to be packed rather tightly, leaving little room for The Nancy and me.  Fortunately, we will offload some of it early on, as we make our way to Richmond, Virginia and then on to Bridgeport, West Virginia.  This is going to be so cool!  About 2pm tomorrow The Nancy and I will get in the line of traffic heading south on I-95, and as we attempt to remain unstressed weaving our way to Richmond – we don’t do Carols, there will be no singing – I will refuse to give anyone the Bird no matter how obnoxiously they are driving.  I won’t exercise my four-letter word lexicon, nor will I think poorly of or judge my fellow travelers.  I shall remain clam and in control of my emotions.  Promise!

So, to all of you who have hit on the website – now over 27,000, especially to those of you off on a Christmas travel adventure at $2.39 a gallon or so, here’s to your safe and joyful travels, and most of all have a Happy and Joyous Christmas.

And that is all I have to say about that…