Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Civility Lost...
05/12/2010
A couple of weekends ago I got tossed out of the stands at a soccer game. The Nancy and I drove to Martinsburg, West Virginia, about 30-miles east, to see our granddaughter play. I didn’t do anything wrong to warrant the expulsion, but volunteered to leave when a nasty ref, hell bent on tossing someone out, threatened to throw out all the fans that had traveled hundreds of miles to watch the game unless someone fessed up for some silly, imaginary indiscretion . It’s a long story, but the truth is I was innocent of any untoward behavior. Trust me? However, there was an incident a couple of weeks ago wherein my innocence can not in anyway be proven. I was guilty as hell.
It goes like this: I was driving up the road to town from The Farm. The speed limit on this byway is posted at 40 miles per hour…I was doing 48. I happened to look into my rear-view mirror and to my surprise some dude of inferior intelligence was coming up on me at a very fast rate. Figuring it was a nutcase who would slow down when he got close to me, I just drove on doing eight miles above the limit. People do tend to speed up on this road, and I assumed my speed, though exceeding the limit, would not have warranted a citation had I been stopped. This guy got right up on my bumper, so close in fact I could not see the headlights of his beat up, piece of crap pickup truck. I could see through my mirror he was not happy, his faced was all screwed up and he seemed to be yelling at someone. I don’t like people riding my rear end, so I slowed down a bit, and it made him less happy, but he chose not to pass me. Still riding me way too closely for my liking I attempted to slow to a stop and allow him to go around.
He finally came around me exhibiting a digital expression he must have found amusing, so I waved two back. I then did something completely out of character; I opened my car door, waved at him to come back. He stopped his truck and flew out of it as if he intended to engage me in something other than conversation. As he approached we exchanged some unpleasantries at an octave somewhat higher than necessary to make a point.
Rarely in my entire life have I exercised my four-letter word vocabulary so extensively in such a short period of time. After a few minutes of exchanging colorful language, and most thankfully he was a smaller man than me, I colorfully invited him to return to his vehicle and proceed down the road. He, having accepted my invitation, did get back into his truck and meandered off unharmed, but quite red with fury. As I returned to the driver’s seat of my Cherokee I began to smile, and with a slight chuckle realized how thoroughly much I enjoyed this altercation.
I really hadn’t thought about again until soccer incident. I have not shared it with anyone, and I know when The Nancy reads this I will be in trouble. It was totally out of character for me, and it was an act of road rage. I made the judgment this guy was a jackass, and though my assumption was completely accurate, my response was not. So, hopefully, Jackass Boy will stumble across this and know how sorry I am for ruining his day, but I want him also what an absolute delight it was for me. It was The Best Day Ever.
And that is all I have to say about that…