Thursday, January 22, 2009

Cell Phone Lost...

01/22/2009

I think my Blackberry may have taken a flight out of Little Rock without me.  It just disappeared: I had it one minute and the next it was gone.  Somewhere in this airport between the Starbucks coffee area, the Southwest counter, the security line and this bar, the damn thing has walked off.

I can’t really blame it for running away.  It has been abused, misused, dropped, stepped on and down right mistreated.  I suppose my dislike for all things cellular finally got to it.  Now I feel badly, even though I so totally dislike the thing, I do need it.

When I dial the number it goes immediately to voicemail.  I think it may be on a plane with a cell phone abuser, a devious bastard who picked up my phone when I turned my head, or I left it somewhere…but I cannot imagine doing that…again.  It has been abducted.

Oh well!  I suppose all I can do is hope it is traveling somewhere without me and is happy to be free.  Maybe I will get a ransom note and can rescue the phone with a few dollars paid to some despicable character.  Perhaps it is in the possession of some poor schmuck who just made an error in judgment.  Only God knows for sure.

And that is all I have to say about that…

PS:  I have now been at the Little Rock airport for nearly four hours.  Each time I call my cell phone number it goes right to voicemail.  This is not a good sign.  I have managed to hang around the bar area with hope it will show up, which simply stated means I haven’t left the bar area, but I have managed to scoff down four 16oz brewskis.  At this point I don’t give a shit where or what happened to the stupid phone, but I miss it.  Go figure?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Football Season - It's Almost Over...

01/14/2009

February 3, 2009 with the playing of the so called “Super Bowl” in Arizona will be the official end of the football season for 2008.  It will be the last day for almost seven months I have to endure watching a bunch of goofballs with painted faces, stupid headgear, wearing dumb shirts with hard to pronounce names on them like Roethlisberger or Manupapoopoo, or dumbasses that change their given names to monikers like “Oucho-Cinco.” Thank you, Jesus. 

The Nancy is the football fan in our house.  I can take it or leave it, mostly leave it, for a lot of the games that are played.  The Nancy will watch any game at any time.  I can’t tell you how many times this season she has stayed up long after I went to bed to watch the end of some game played between two teams she nor I give a healthy crap whether they win or lose.  Me, I need to have some skin in the game to be interested in it.

I will watch and enjoy West Virginia play (I live here).  I will watch and enjoy the Colts play (I rooted for them for years when I lived in Baltimore).  I will watch and enjoy the Giants (I lived in New York State).  I will watch and enjoy the University of Virginia play (I lived in Richmond, VA for over thirty years).  I love to see Ohio State, Notre Dame, LSU, Florida State, USC, Florida and a host of other schools and professional teams lose, but I don’t know why, probably because The Nancy is making me watch them when I’d rather watch something on the Food Network.

The end of the football season also has another meaning for me.  Just about sixty days further down the year’s road is the beginning of the spring season, my favorite time of the year – other than Christmas.  The downside of sixty days down the year’s road is that it heralds the beginning of the baseball season.  Next to football on my appreciation scale is baseball.  At least football has some action.  Baseball is like watching paint dry.  Cooking is so much more exciting than any sport, and at the end of the game, you eat.  That, I like.

And that is all I have to say about that…

Sunday, January 11, 2009

2009: My Best year Ever...

01/11/2009

I have declared it, 2009 will be my best year ever.  It will be the best because I am fully responsible for its outcome.  I am in control.  All is well.

I thought 2008 was my best year ever, and it was to a point – 11:59:59, December 31, 2008.  One second later everything changed; out with the old, in with the new.

There are people who will think I am nutty as a fruit cake, and perhaps I am, but this much I know is true.  I get to decide what happens in my life.

Consider this to be my one sales pitch this year to each and everyone who accesses this website to get off your asses and go to http://www.millennium3education.com, sign up for the workshops, and get to be as happy as I am.  It is that simple.

I know you, even though we may have never met.  I know you put on a public face to your private self.  I know there are things about you, you do not like, but don’t know why.  Maybe you are very overweight and eat for comfort, or maybe you’re physically or verbally abused and looking for the strength to escape it.  Are you a drama queen or king?  Are you a pessimist?  Maybe you are gay and hiding, rather than being who you really are.  Maybe you are waiting for your ship to come in?  Has “life” been unfair to you?  If you have ever said, “If only I” or any of the above seem to fits you, you need Millennium, and you need it now.  If you had a terminal illness and the cure lay in Dallas for a paltry $1500-$3000, would you pay it and go get well?  Well, you do have a terminal illness unless you are totally in love with yourself above all others and truly happy with whom you really are.

Please, I beg you; don’t let another minute go by of being unhappy or wanting.  You can find complete satisfaction with your life in Dallas.  Right this very minute some special pricing may be available to you if you contact Millennium either through the website or by picking up the daggone phone and calling them at 972-934-9779.  Check it out and make 2009 your best year ever. 

And that is all I have to say about that…

Saturday, January 03, 2009

So Long Holidays...

01/03/2009

The Season is officially over.  The gifts are opened and quite a few already in pieces or missing same.  We don’t have to listen to the debate on “Merry Christmas” versus “Happy Holidays” again until December 2009.  The Christmas tree or perhaps we should call it the Holiday tree to be more politically correct, will come down tomorrow, since we are not home today, and put away in storage for another eleven months.  The Christmas cards received will go in the trash…sorry!  The poinsettias that have adorned our dining room table will go with the cards, and whatever Holiday cookies, cakes and candies we have leftover will go with The Nancy to her office for final disposition, aka consumption (those people will eat anything).  Taking that stuff to The Nancy’s office keeps us from tossing out perfectly good confections, but will allow others the weight gain from them and not us.  By tomorrow afternoon the house will be relegated to its normal drabness, totally devoid of the Holiday Festiveness of the past several weeks.  It is just the way it works. 

Now it is time to resolve to do something in 2009, and then not do it as I have not done in years past.  So, with that said, here is a list of the things I resolve not to do.

1. Start new projects at home without sufficient monies to complete them and maybe complete some of the projects I have already started.
2. Stay focused at work, and not allow my mind to wander from the task at hand – I will disable Spider Solitaire.
3. Regain the thirty-plus pounds I lost in 2008.
4. I resolve to always answer the question, “Does this make me look fat?”
5. Pluck The Nancy’s chin or massage her feet when she hints at it.
6. Give anyone the finger ever again.
7. And my last non-resolution – Never drop an inappropriate or mistimed “f-bomb” again.

These are my 2009 Non-Resolutions and I should definitely not have any problem not keeping them.  Isn’t this so much easier than vowing to do a lot of things you know in your heart you won’t do?  Why set yourself up for failure?  Merely own up to the fact Resolutions are a bunch a crap, and don’t even go there. 

I heard Will Smith in an interview a couple of days ago.  When asked what Resolutions he would make for 2009, he promptly said, “None.” He went on to say something is worth doing why wait for a New Year to do it.  I liked that, and will adopt that for my own use.  The again, I may never do that, either.  It’s just the way it is. 

And that is all I have to say about that…